...We are gathered here today to bear witness to the sorrowful passing of a Valued Member of the Diablo Sun Devils Naturist Club.  This person will forever more be known only as Dead Duck... as he has been stripped of his horns and whose naked body shall be passed out of our club and into the mysterious realm of another place... a truly sad and sorrowful occasion..!

May this remind us all to question our values as intelligent ladies and gentlemen... and may it help naturists everywhere strive always to bring the freedom and joy of naturism to all women... while providing every female nudist with a safe... friendly... loving and oh so respectful environment... lest we end up a Dead Duck and find ourselves banished from this club forever as well.

Master... we assure you... none of our members ever wants to face the doom of being presented with the dreaded "Dead Duck"... and we give our thanks this day that by your grace and beauty you rarely have to award it to anyone of us for being crude or disrespectful to a lady in any way..!